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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]This does not sound like bullying - I hate how that word gets thrown around.[/b]

It sounds to me like they were having fun, got carried away, and went too far.  Help your daughter clean up, talk about it a little, then let it go.  [/quote]

:lol:   :lol:  :lol:  :lol: PP, that's SO funny how you just dismissed OP's daughter's feelings.  :roll:

It wasn't funny to her, so it's NOT having fun. It's mean behavior. And if it's mean, time to intervene. [/quote]

[b]Maybe you have younger children, [b]but your advice here is absolutely wrong.  You do not intervene everytime someone is mean to your child.  At this age, the child MUST learn how to handle things herself[/b].  Are you going to intervene when someone is mean to your child in high school?  In college?  The only way she will learn is if she has practice.  [/b]

I do agree that OP's DD should be validated.  I think what PP was saying was that its possible the other girls thought this was a light hearted, fun joke.  They were wrong, obviously, because OP's DD's was hurt.  but its possible they didn't see that coming and will feel remorse.  That would be the best outcome.  And it won't happen if Mama Bear calls out the other parents.[/quote]

Actually I am the parent of middle school and elementary aged children.[b] And I am a principal of an elementary school who has done quite a bit of research and practice in the area of bullying prevention. I'm sorry PP, but your point is so off base and indicative of an attitude that perpetuates mean and bullying behaviors. Expecting kids to just handle things on their own is exactly the WRONG thing to do, both as teachers and as parents. We have to be proactive AND reactive.[/b] Yes, if it is mean, you have to intervene and explicitly teach kids why that behavior is not okay. I'm not saying we should tar and feather these girls. But it does need to be addressed head on. And yes, when I know, learn about and/or observe mean behavior, I do intervene. I let everyone know, both the kid(s) who were being mean as well as the kid(s) who were targeted, that the behavior is not how we treat one another. It is up to adults to help kids figure out what it acceptable behavior and to be explicit about that. [/quote]

Saying that the PPs point was off base and indicative of bullying behavior is not correct because anti-bullying strategies also help kids to practice what to do when a responsible adult is not available.

What the PP said was that kids need to learn how to handle things on their own or else they won't be able to apply the necessary strategies when they are needed; not that kids need to figure out solutions without parental guidance. 
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