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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]This does not sound like bullying - I hate how that word gets thrown around.[/b]

It sounds to me like they were having fun, got carried away, and went too far.  Help your daughter clean up, talk about it a little, then let it go.  [/quote]

:lol:   :lol:  :lol:  :lol: PP, that's SO funny how you just dismissed OP's daughter's feelings.  :roll:

It wasn't funny to her, so it's NOT having fun. It's mean behavior. And if it's mean, time to intervene. [/quote]

[b]Maybe you have younger children, but your advice here is absolutely wrong.  You do not intervene everytime someone is mean to your child.  At this age, the child MUST learn how to handle things herself[/b].  Are you going to intervene when someone is mean to your child in high school?  In college?  The only way she will learn is if she has practice.

I do agree that OP's DD should be validated.  I think what PP was saying was that its possible the other girls thought this was a light hearted, fun joke.  They were wrong, obviously, because OP's DD's was hurt.  but its possible they didn't see that coming and will feel remorse.  That would be the best outcome.  And it won't happen if Mama Bear calls out the other parents.[/quote]

Actually I am the parent of middle school and elementary aged children. And I am a principal of an elementary school who has done quite a bit of research and practice in the area of bullying prevention. I'm sorry PP, but your point is so off base and indicative of an attitude that perpetuates mean and bullying behaviors. Expecting kids to just handle things on their own is exactly the WRONG thing to do, both as teachers and as parents. We have to be proactive AND reactive. Yes, if it is mean, you have to intervene and explicitly teach kids why that behavior is not okay. I'm not saying we should tar and feather these girls. But it does need to be addressed head on. And yes, when I know, learn about and/or observe mean behavior, I do intervene. I let everyone know, both the kid(s) who were being mean as well as the kid(s) who were targeted, that the behavior is not how we treat one another. It is up to adults to help kids figure out what it acceptable behavior and to be explicit about that. [/quote]

1.  I agree that parents have to intervene when there is bullying and I am aware of what the research shows, but not everything that is mean is bullying.  The term is way over used.  This was a prank.  If its not part of a larger pattern, it isn't bullying and it does a real disservice to kids who have been bullied to misuse that term.  That is not to say its OK.  I agree with everyone who says OP should validate her DD's feelings.  But if the parents are called in and OP goes on the war path, you better believe that her DD will be bullied in the future.  And she wouldn't have learned the very important lesson of how to tell people when they are behaving in a way that hurts her.  Think about how important that life lesson is.

2.  I believe you when you say you are the principal of an elementary school, but yowza I'm pretty surprised.  That a principal would even go on these boards like this, when she may have parents of students of hers on these boards, that she would use such strong and insulting language, just seems really unprofessional to me.  And the emoticons!  Dear God, the promiscuous use of emoticons!  It just seems childish.  All I can say is that I'm glad my kids are teens so I don't have to worry that you are their principal.[/quote]

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