Reply to Husband wants to move for job, I don't

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am interested in all opinions, not just those who say I should stay.  DH's parents mean well.  They love our kids but I'd rather see them in small doses.  My MIL is a lot to handle.  She is the kind of person who is really nice and great to those who matter to her, but can be very rude to those who don't.[/quote]

This.  I had a feeling in-laws may not be very helpful.  This is a tough decision.  I think being able to support your family is the first priority.  Altough you mention job advancement and 10% increase, it isn't clear if it is a matter of job security and survival (I.e. you have 100K in school loans, can't afford to buy a house, have less chance of having any job if he stays in DC) versus it being a preference to make more money and have greater job satisfaction.   If you are talking a preference rather than survival then I think you look at quality of life. Will he work longer hours at the new job and you are more isolated?   Were you planning to return to work and if so what are the prospects there? Is he willing to prioritize coming to DC for certain holidays with your family and being able to fly your parents out to visit once a year?  Does he have a network of friends and family that extends to you?  I just remember when my DH had to go to the hospital when we were out of town, I felt so alone. That every decision rested on my shoulders and there was no one to share the burden.  If the same thing had happened when I was in-town, friends would have offered to help with the kids, my in-laws would have driven down, his friend would have visited him in the hospital if he was there any extended time.

I think I would be leaning towards going, but it would be important to me that DH had a plan and we talked thru quality of life.  How would this move improve our family life and for the things we are giving up like time with the cousins and parents what can we do to help I.e. vacation together, visit East Coast, fly parents out etc.  You would also be starting from no friends there so focus on neighborhoods where you know the neighbors or social activity that would get you out and meeting people, like tennis.[/quote]

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