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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Actually, I think this is a direct reflection in you and your parenting, not on your in laws at all. The only reason your kids do this is because you allow them to do this. I am sure once one kicks it off they all follow suit. The way you describe it you are looking for your in laws to do something when this is your problem.  Additionally, I highly doubt they are disparaging you in front of your kids. Kids that age can't keep secrets much less 4 of them.

By 3 they know what is expected of them. Prep before they do, in the car, when they arrive and reminder when you arrive should do it. Won't happen right away but give it some time. You have a husband who travels and in laws who love your kids enough to have them overnight. Let go of your issues with them (comes through clearly in your post) and even if they pitch a fit for a few minutes be grateful. [/quote]

You clearly have not had a toxic, passive-aggressive MIL in your life.  [/quote]

Actually I do. I don't sink to her level. When my kids were younger I made it my goal not to involve my kids in my issues with her. I knew if I raised them right they would figure her out all on their own. I felt they would be resentful if I ruined that relationship. Well now they are older (ms/hs). I can't remember the last time they willingly went to their grandparents. They think their grandmother is crazy, says crazy things and mean. It isn't fun anymore. She ruined her relationship with them all on her own. Me? I have no contact. If she calls I don't answer, if she texts/e-mails I don't respond. My DH is in charge of all communications with her. Once I took control of our relationship and only had contact when I wanted, things became much easier.

The OP isn't a victim of her passive-aggressive MIL. She simply let's her control the relationship. [/quote]

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