Reply to My heart breaks for my kids because I didn't give them a great dad

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Today is my kids Christmas show at school. They are 5 and 7. They woke up at 6, so excited. The 7 year old has a special part, that he earned for improving his sometimes troubled behavior. He is very proud. My 7 year old son couldn't wait to put on his jacket and first big kid real tie. They got all dressed, and then at 6:30 he nudged dad in bed to help him tie it. Dad yelled and said it was too early to get up. Son was so sad. I reassured him daddy would help him as soon as he got up. Around 7:30 I found DS in the office. He had googled how to tie a tie and was watching a you tube video, trying so hard to get it tied. I think my heart broke in a million pieces seeing him. I helped him and we got it done. 
Obviously, this is just one example in my life of a husband who can't be bothered. And I am 8 months pregnant.  I just feel so sad for them. [/quote]

Was your DH still in bed at 7:30?[/quote]

Yes.  Which isn't unusual. I just thought today he would get up for DS. 
I realize there are some pregnant hormones at work. I realize I sound like a crazy person to some of you. (But big thanks to those who understand where I am coming from. Made me feel better)
I just wish I married the dad who coaches the baseball team. Or the dad who is excited to show his son how to tie a tie. Or the dad who wants to be the den leader. Or the dad who wants to throw a ball in the yard. 
But I didn't. And there is nothing I can do about it. Believe me, I have tried to encourage these kinds of things. I hadn't worked, and has just created resentment. 
I disagree, though, that it was a mistake to have another. My kids will always have each other. And I think that they are lucky for that. [/quote]

OP, I am a NP and am so sorry for the cruel spirit of some other posters. My gut feeling is that some unhappy males have taken over and want to punish you for things other women have done to them.

I totally get where you are coming from-- my DH was raised with an absent father, and he doesn't display emotion well to the kids. He is also a go-getter in all other aspects of his life, yet lazy as a parent. I totally understand your frustration and wish my kids' dad was more cheerful and involved in parenting, and I hope you find a friend who "gets it." I also think that once the pregnancy hormones go away, you will be better able to deal with your DH being inept.

My advice is to reach out to your girlfriends about your feelings, because you won't find empathy with your DH or on these message boards. I'm sure you have a friend in a similar situation, but you don't know it yet. The Scout Leader DH is extremely rare. Most of us have selfish DH who don't understand our childrens' emotions. Sorry guys, it's the truth. Guys, if you are the exception to the rule, please excuse me and power on.[/quote]

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