Reply to Is it typical for MILs and DILs to not get along?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh MIL/DIL relations.  My MIL can drive me insane.  She is very gruff but thinks she's kind and soft. She prefers yelling over a room to actually sitting down and having a conversation with someone.  She never thinks we spend enough time with her, then when we are at her house, she ignores us to do chores and rarely sits down to actually talk to us.  Then when it's time to leave, oh all the questions start coming out to delay our departure.  It's maddening. She has in the past acted like a child and pouted when things didn't go exactly her way.  I'm not used to adults acting like children, so I am sure occasionally I offend her because I mostly ignore that kind of stuff because it makes me feel so uncomfortable.

However.  She's a good person. [b] I don't agree with the way she acts a lot of the time, but at her core, she's not a bad person.  I know she'll be a loving grandmother to our kids, even if I don't like the way she'll do everything.  Plus, my husband loves her, faults and all.  [u]So I do my best to love her too, because she raised the man I adore so much.[/u] She deserves my respect for that reason alone.[/b] It's a work in progress, and probably always will be, but I'm willing to work at it to find a nice balance where we can both (usually) be happy.  I don't think we'll ever be best friends or super close, but I do think that as we move forward we will be respectful, loving family members.

And yes, I'm taking notes on all the ways I'm going to try to be a better MIL when the time comes.  God help everyone with a son.[/quote]

I agree with this!  My MIL and I have had our differences.  But she has had differences with all of her SILs and DILs at some point.  90% of the time she is fine and 10% of the time my blood pressure is through the roof.  Still I do my best to remember how great of a man she raised and how much she really loves my kids.  Also, I recognize my part in our disagreements.  I'm not innocent and I am more sensitive comments coming from her.  My husband is more at ease and enjoys his mother's visits more because there is less tension in the house.

Conversely, when my Mom is being a shit to my SIL, I try to get her to let it go.  See things from SIL's point of view or simply remind her that SIL didn't have a mother growing up and much of mothering is learned, not instinct.

In the end both DILs and MILs could learn to be nicer, speak kinder and ignore the little things.   [/quote]

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