Reply to Is it typical for MILs and DILs to not get along?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When I read that DILs want an understanding and compassionate MIL, it makes me think that one problem may be expecting too much from the relationship. Maybe a relationship that's more formal is better. Or at least understand that if the MIL isn't warm and touchy-feely it isn't emotional neglect but may be respect for boundaries. I don't think I'd want/or expect my MIL to act like my friend or act like she is a mother to me. [/quote]

I'm the PP you are referring to and I understand I wasn't clear on using understanding and compassionate. I left out all the details, deliberately. My first child had many, many medical issues and the unhelpful, ignorant comments and finger pointing that went on was astounding. I never did anything right and that sentiment has remained alive. I do expect most people to have civility and manners, not just MIL. I definitely don't need touchy-feely but the lack of any boundaries is cause for concern and eventually one loses respect for someone who has shown none. It's a two-way street. I really don't want to be my friend/mother to me. I just wanted a normal, nice MIL who enjoys her grandkids presence once a year at least. That's all. Bonus points if they can speak nicely and warmly about DH (and people in general) instead of bashing and gossiping about them. I feel like understanding and compassion is a human trait that everyone has to some extent. In my MIL, it seems to be missing.[/quote]

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