Reply to Husband still not working. What would you do?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm sorry you're in this situation. There are a lot of very taxing situations that a family can find themselves in, and this is definitely one of them.

When talking with your husband about this, I wouldn't use "you are a leech and I am embarrassed by you" even if that is true. I would focus on the degree to which your family is struggling financially in ways that can't be fixed by his family giving a swift infusion of cash. I think it's GREAT that he has family who is able to help when you need help. Many people do not have that ace in the hole.

That said, I think that your attitude that he must provide for you financially or else you cannot respect him is a complete crock of shit. Your husband is trying to grow a business. He is caring for your child. You say that he needs to contribute? He IS contributing, the same way stay at home parents with part time jobs contribute to the family. I think your attitude is sexist and materialistic and I can't say I blame your husband for responding to you in an angry way.[/quote]

Staying at home is something that should be agreed upon by both parties.  He needs to take her feelings into consideration.  There is a lot of pressure associated with being the only person bringing in money into a household.

He is not contributing in the way that they agreed upon and is taking advantage of his family especially if they are strapped for cash.[/quote]

PP here. Yeah, I get that. I agree that it should be agreed by both people. I just find OP's attitude of "he was supposed to provide for me and he doesn't and now I'm embarrassed by him and don't respect or love him because he is not a good provider" to be sexist. Because that's what her attitude is. He's a lazy man who is failing in what she believes to be his primary duty.[/quote]

Unless you are in the situation, you need to stop throwing around words like sexist. I am seriously feminist in belief and action. My husband lost his job while I was still bleeding from childbirth, and I had to cut short my leave and bonding with my newborn to go back to work. Reality is reality, and the different sexes aren't the exact same. Please. 
[/quote]
Did your husband assume the role of primary caregiver?[/quote]

You would have to explain what you mean by "assume the role of primary caregiver" and the significance you think it holds. What if I was planning to be a SAHM? What if we had agreed to it? What if we both worked full time and I seriously shortened my maternity leave? Perhaps you just like to talk out your ass. Feel free but do not call the poor OP a sexist for doing what she can to keep her family afloat. That just makes you sound sad and confused. [/quote]

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