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[quote=Anonymous]I was a very smart kid who once thought just saying no to drugs was easy. I think my own individual path of experimenting with pot and a few other things had a lot to do with watching my parents go through difficult times, which included my moms bout with breast cancer. I am now 45 and quite skeptical and hesitant to take any medication for fear of the unknown side effects. However as a teen, I recall a point in time where I realized I was not afraid of things that I had been taught to be afraid of. It became "why not?" and "its not that big of a deal". I remember reading an article about the damaging effects the overhypiong of drugs evils had on the credibility of parents. "Reefer Madness" comes to mind. By exaggerating the effects to pot, we managed to make ourselves less credible when trying to warn kids about the effects of things like alchohol.

My kid is 7 and homeschooled for now. I talk to her about drunk driving teenagers getting killed on prom night. I want her to know how easy it is to make a wrong choice that could be very costly. I will continue to talk to her about this. Luckily, she is a very receptive child and kind of an old soul type. So she really listens.

MY parents were wonderful, but they had no experience with pot or other drugs. I plan to let my kid know that I made some mistakes that could have been costly. Luckily, I emerged fine, but others are not so fortunate, and I know some of the reasons why.

Your school of choice could be 99.99% drug free, but if DC felt a connection with that .01%, that is all it would take for experimentation to happen.

FWIW, I ended up graduating 2 years early and going to college before age 16 on full scholarship. I learned my lessons early, in just about every way. I am still humbled at the task of how to make sure my daughter does not succumb to any situation that could cost her dearly. I just plan on talking to her about how easy it is for something to go wrong, and how deceptive it can be to observe other people doing "it", whatever "it" might be, and seeming to be invincicble.

Communicating to a teen that they are not immortal or invincible, that is not easy. But there are plenty of examples all around us to use as reference points. Dont make the mistake of labeling "those kids" as bad, but rather be honest and say that most often they are misguided.

My daughter is most likely to fall prey to the influences of a young man, not because they are inherently bad, but because she is inherently a romantic. Just came like that "out of the box".  As long as she meets the right kind of boy, it will be ok. But I need to educate her on how that is not so easy to determine from "feelings" but rather "facts". What choices are the people around her making and why? And who should she use a a model and why.

OP: this parenting stuff is hard. I understand you are looking for a safe haven or at least a safer one. But I agree with everyone's assessment, and I base this also on many conversations with teachers who happen to friends of mine: there is no safe haven. YOU are the safe haven. Plan to spend a lot of time really learning about why people drink and do drugs. Other people's kids (classmates) are NOT the answer.[/quote]

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