Reply to New baby, Vegas and strip clubs

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here

The outcome: after much thought, I realized by anger/sadness truly came from the fact that
1)he was not up front about the strip club
2) he did not validate my feelings (insecurity, jealous) and/or try to make me feel better during our original conversation. 
3) I am beyond anxious about all the changes currently happening in our life and don't fell like he is on board or supportive in the ways a husband should be. 
Aka-we are not connecting.
Yesterday, he decided not to go to Vegas at all. Which just made me feel worse, because I am not controlling or needy. Historically, I am a damn cool wife! And I never want him to miss out on the opportunity to travel or hang out and make new memories with my soon to be brother in law. Hell, the thought of sitting in Vegas without two kids sounds amazing. So, he's on a plane as I type this. I realized that asking him not to go wouldn't do either of us any favors and would just create more resentment on his side. Hopefully this was the right choice?[/quote]

OP, I'm the "too bad we aren't neighbors/friends" poster.  I think you did the right thing.  I think it's good that you and he talked, good that he was willing to not go, and good that you then encouraged him to go.  He'll be back before you know it.  Maybe the break will be good for him (and therefore good for you), maybe he'll feel kind of like a fish out of water with two kids and a wife at home, maybe it's a little bit of good will in the bank for you and a learning experience for both of you.  And maybe next time you'll be able to get to the actual stuff that's annoying you in time to address it more readily.

Whatever happens, I bet that a week from now you and he will be back to figuring out the new household dynamics, recovering from your first week back at work, and one week closer to better overnight stretches of sleep.

The only thing that really matters right now is that you are glad you encouraged him to go, and that hopefully you both managed to have a good/real conversation about how you were feeling.

As I said before though, in the big picture this probably won't seem like a big deal at all pretty soon.  You really sound to me like you basically have your head screwed on straight.  If this is the worst bump you and your husband have in adjusting to two kids then I think you're doing really well.

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