Reply to IF husband has borderline personality disorder- a death sentence for the marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Mom of BPD child. I have not heard of Randy Kreger, but you can bet I will google that now that I see this person is a controversial person! I had no idea there was a landmine in the world of BPD! This person sounds very one-sided. [b]The world is not black and white[/b]. Every family has its issues, as does every human being. We are all fragile and need to treat each other well, BPD or not.

Our family is able to stick together through the challenges of a BPD member. I would never want my healthy kids to abandon an ill sibling, or for parents to abandon a child. But all family members need to learn to treat each other respectfully, and our child with BPD has greater challenges in this area. Hence, the amount of work that DC is doing with the counselor and the amount of ongoing therapeutic parenting we are doing with a young adult. The attachment needs to stay secure within the family for the healing. Abandonment is what all people fear, but BPDs fear it very deeply. We aren't going in that direction.

So I don't know who Kreger is, but that's my philosophy on coping with this. And I will surely google this author because I had no idea there was a sensitive controversy in the literature about BPD. Interesting. I guess I have alot to learn.

It sounds like this person has touched a nerve for some reason. I hope this thread can get away from that and back to real people trying to help each other from their experiences.

I stated before and I will again: it is one thing to be a mom of a BPD child. It is another thing altogether to be a spouse. I have the strength to live within the orbit of BPD and not get pulled into the drama, because I have a healthy spouse  and we support each other and give each other breaks. If your spouse is the one with BPD,  you don't have that. It would a very difficult place to be. I don't know if I could do that. I just don't know. And I would never blame someone for deciding not to stay. I have never walked a mile in those shoes.

Peace to all of you on this thread. I hope we can continue to help each other. [/quote]

Except to BPDs.  
[/quote]

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