Reply to Write a check this week for 10k to help your parents?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm starting to think op is the grandparent posing as the child. She thinks people should prioritize buying a new car for their parents over saving for their kids' college??

If "op" wants to help her in laws buy a car,, fine, but no way should she be pressuring others to chip in ten thou. It's not like they are hiring a home health nurse.
[/quote]

This is hilarious. To tell in greater detail, this is actually all my spouses family. And I told my spouse I am happy to pay for entire car ourselves.

Our approach was to email sibling and tell them parents need new car and we are planning to chip in 10k and if they wanted to chip in anything. That's when we got the response that they didn't have the money.  We aren't upset and I could care less, but I was just surprised that they didn't have money vs they don't think buying a car is worth it. (Prob one of those little white lies to try to spare feelings)

As for the parents, they live on one parent SS and have to pay out of pocket for medical insurance for the younger one. House paid off. Car was paid off. They will likely refuse money, they are proud and don't want help from us kids.

So posting his really just my curiosity if most folks really don't have that much cash on hand. Needing to buy a new car unexpectedly kind of feels like an appropriate use of emergency fund, but that's just me. [/quote]

OP, I'm not trying to be nasty, but you clearly do care.  All of your posts have been just dripping with judgment for these siblings.  You assume they're just being cheap and that they're lying to you about the money, you keep telling us that you pay for daycare expenses and they don't because they accept help from the parents but then aren't willing to do anything in return, you completely write off anyone who suggests that they wouldn't immediately do anything for their parents simply because they're your parents.

Just admit it - you think the siblings are taking advantage of your parent's kindness and you think they should be jumping on the chance to do something in return for all the free childcare and private school tuition they've handed out over the years.  If the siblings have been like this for years (that is, relying on your parents for childcare and other assistance and doing nothing in return), then I almost suspect you sort of did this on purpose.  You knew they wouldn't happily hand over $10k, and it probably makes you feel even more smug that not only do you pay for your own childcare and value being self-sufficient, but you would also immediately come up with $10k from your own copious savings and feel proud that you can help your aging parents.  Believe me, I'm with you on being self-sufficient.  It burns me that we pay for all our own expenses while my parents just bought my brother a HOUSE.  I get it.  But don't come on here and tell us you don't care and you're not judging them for their choices.  You clearly are - just own it.[/quote]

OP here. I will own it, in just that I don't feel they appreciate all the parens do for them.

But the question for this post was really about the availability of funds for upper middle class families, but clearly my latent frustrations have detailed it. But I actually never asked sibling nor suggested it; that discussion happened before I was involved.  I am happy to get them a new car on our own ad would not hold any grudges against anyone (for that -- still resent the appearance of lack of appreciation for parents which is separate issue).

As for 6k 2-4 year old car, are you looking at civics or hyundais or something. Like unsaid need reliable (prefer Honda or Toyota ) car that fits 3 car seats. I really don't see a recent vintage for 6-8k, please send a link to kbb or edmunds or wherever this market exists![/quote]

I would not buy a used car in less necessary, but nothing wrong with a hyundai or other less expensive car.  A new car will come with a warranty.  There are plenty of cars that sit three across though you may have to get different car seats.  Bottom-line is you want them to tote your kids around in a fancy new expensive car and they cannot afford it.  You expect all the siblings to help buy a more expensive car than they need to help care for your kids.  Buy the car yourself as a gift for caring for your kids.  [/quote]

OP here. To be clear, I am one offering to pay for the car. The three kids they are toting around belong to the sibling who can't find any money to help with the is the one with three kids and getting the family child care. We live thousand miles away so he help we get from parents is more ad hoc and the car is never involved. [/quote]

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