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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow!  Just checking in to this (bumped) thread and read each and every post.

I have tears in my eyes.  I so admire your attitude, OP.  You handled it all will grace and just the right amount of concern...and then, jubilation.

How are you, OP?  Have you gotten over the shock?

And...can anyone tell me just how uncommon this vasectomy failure is...?  Says the woman who has nagged her husband for eight years to get one and keeps thinking that menopause will happen before he gets the vas.[/quote]

I am OP. I'm doing great. 21 weeks this week, and we found out on my birthday last week that we are having our second little girl. I have just been walking on air since we found out it was a pregnancy. I have truly loved this second pregnancy the way I didn't with my first and I'm really soaking it up and just trying to enjoy it all. I know now that it goes so fast and this really WILL be my last time so I'm doing my best to enjoy the pregnancy while I can, enjoy the time with my family as-is until this new one arrives, and look forward to reliving the baby stage with more experience, and better perspective this time. It's been a life changer, for sure.

From what I have been told and have read, vasectomy failure is not common- around 1-2% of vasectomies fail. There is a new method where they cut, tie, and cauterize the ends of the vas deferens to make failure nearly impossible (with 3 fail-safes in place) but my husband and I do not know if that is what his urologist did when he got his in 2009. My husband thinks he may have just cut and tied, and there is a higher (still not high, but higher) rate of failure with that method since they can untie and reattach over time. As a doctor friend put it to me, the body's instinct is to heal itself. Sometimes it manages to do so! And also when we had our first visit with my OB and we told her about the vasectomy failure, she said we were the third couple that week who had that happen to them. My husband is going to have his vasectomy repaired in August and I am going to use backup birth control myself after the birth, just in case.

To the new poster above this PP... I hope you are doing well also. I know it is a shock. If I had four children already I don't know if I could have accepted a surprise pregnancy very well. Whatever you (and/or your husband) choose to do going forward, I wish you peace with your decision! Best advice I can give is to give yourself a couple days to really let it sink in. The day I got the positive test I was a mess- confused, bewildered, anxious, and resentful of how our planned-out life was going to change if it really was a pregnancy. When I got the call from the doctor 5 days later with news it was a pregnancy, I had come around to being happy about it. You will have a better grip on how you truly feel and how to move forward after you give it some time. [/quote]

Yay, OP. How old is your older daughter? Just wanted to tell you that I had an unexpected pregnancy myself. We thought we'd have just one, and then boom--last year, second child. It is challenging but I have no regrets. Honestly, my biggest feeling is relief when I see my kids together and happy. Mine are 5.5 yrs apart.

Hugs to you![/quote]

My daughter will be 4 at the end of August, so 4 years, 3 months when the baby is born. I do think it'll be a good gap- she'll get a break 3x a week with preschool, which will also give me some time to bond one-on-one with the baby. She's also just entering the stage where she's obsessed with "mommies and babies" so I think she will be mostly welcoming to a new baby. Plus it helps that she's in a regular bed now, potty trained, can play independently, etc. It will be a transition for her, but hopefully a relatively easy one. I'm looking forward to having sisters. :)[/quote]

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