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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can understand. We give our grandchildren Cart Blanche when we take them out. They always order more than they can eat and I end up dreading the next time and coming up with all sorts of ways to tell them it's wasteful, but I don't. I think it's partly generational, but [b]the lack of respect for our hard earned savings is what bothers me most.[/b] I'm sure if they were paying, they'd be more thoughtful. [/quote]

NP here.  I can understand this.  As a grown grandchild, I have tried to offer to split the bill with my grandparents or to pay for the phone bill (for example) when I've stayed with them for extended periods (when I was helping box up the house of my other grandparents, for example).  My grandmother's response has always been, "Don't insult me by offering me money!"  She never said a word about the phone bills herself, and while my grandfather might gruffly joke about how much I spent he would also be sincerely offended if I pushed to pay.

I say this just because in some families the ability to spend the hard-earned and saved money on grandchildren is a marker of success and love.  It sounds like OP is struggling with something in between, wanting to make the gesture but being uncomfortable with the waste because of her own life experiences.  I recommend saying nothing and letting the gesture of generosity be what's remembered.  The beauty of grandparents is that they aren't consumed with having to rear you to be a responsible adult, they can let you be a little spoiled.[/quote]

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