Reply to MIL: Always trying to separate me and the baby?

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[quote=Anonymous]What on earth does she tell her other grandchildren? I would get pretty busy pretty quick and find a friend who happens to be around each time she wants to spend time with baby. If she doesn't understand the ergo, that is understandable given the generation gap, but maybe there are a few things that you could do so her visits don't get so draining. Letting this happen more than a few times would be totally exhausting to any new mom.

You could join a few other mama's who are attachment parenting and invite her along. What about lending her a book on the topic? If you don't think she would be supportive, a printed out article might be a better choice.

I find that it's pretty difficult to help my MIL to understand 75% percent of our parenting choices. She is a wonderful woman with lots to do though, so I don't have that level of involvement from her.

Could you invite another friend over while she is going to be there? I think seeing other little ones running around would satisfy some of her urges and that way she would need to engage with another adult.

Put something on the agenda that might be out of the house so that she can meet you there? That way she can hold baby all she wants, and you could get a little bit more of a break without all the negativity.

Lot's of MIL's with these kinds of issues don't get to behave like that around folks they don't know.

Potentially you could remind her that baby does need to sleep, and being in the ergo is what helps that to happen on schedule. Occasionally you could ask her for some type of help with something, even if it's just preparing a bottle, etc. That way if you feel frustrated by her visits, at least it isn't as taxing on you. If she really is there to help out, you'll find out quickly.

Maybe you need a different kind of support, instead of a visit (even by grandma), that is so divisive.  I would have a really hard time with what you described, mainly because while she is just playing games and feels she isn't doing anything harmful, it is quite manipulative and would be a lot to deal with if she was spending time with your toddler at say, age 3 or 4 and talking about you like that. Especially in front of others. That would be really unhealthy.

Don't let you MIL get between you and your baby, or you and your hubby.

Best to you OP, things do get easier as they get older. Enjoy your time with your little one and take really good care of your self.[/quote]

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