Reply to MIL: Always trying to separate me and the baby?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I was in the EXACT situation with a local MIL.   First and only grandchild.

Most PPs aren't getting it.  There is love, and then there are narcissistic women with boundary issues.   Does she have other problems with boundaries, by any chance?

Even if not, what she's doing is not normal.  It's OK to "spoil" a grandchild with an extra cookie or tix to Mary Poppins.  It's NOT OK to overtly and unapologetically try to be divisive, insult a mother, and pretend a baby is yours when its not.

I am sad to say, OP, that this unhealthy mental thing will likely persist if your MIL does indeed have narcissistic boundary issues.    Tried to plan a 1st birthday party yet?  Look out!   Or buy a 1st Halloween costume, or pick a preschool, or, well, you get the idea.

Here's a thread I started years ago.  You know the ONLY think that's helped?  The child growing older and less adorable, not always "sweet," and with a mind of its own:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/48676.page#337111 [/quote]

This. Except it was my own mother doing/saying these exact things. A normal thing would be to gush like only a grandma can and they create one's own bond with grandchild, without have to divide the baby from the mother.  Its cute that they are showing love for the baby, but sad that they have to do it by taking digs at the mother. How they are going about creating that bond is what makes it so telling.  Your MIL definitely sounds like she is on the narcissist spectrum. It will continue and get worse if you do not kindly, firmly and politely set boundaries. My mom will go as far as to lock herself in the room with the grandkids and tell them how awesome she is as a grandma and how much she loves them.  As the kids get older and less interested in her, it will wear off.  I can only imagine what they sat when we are not around.[/quote]

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