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Elementary School-Aged Kids
Reply to "Steubenville Rape Case: What You Haven't Heard-What lessons do you take from this re:your own boys?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I recently had a conversation with my 15yo about rape and consent, based on this letter: http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/ask-amy-teen-victim-looks-for-answers/2013/02/15/e6791910-7793-11e2-8f84-3e4b513b1a13_story.html I read him the letter and asked him if he thought it was rape and he said yes. We then talked about confusing signals, how any confusion means no, and how anyone influenced by drugs/alcohol is not capable of saying yes. We also talked about how it is not just a question of a girl not saying "no," that she must fully and clearly say YES. Anything less = back off. It came up again last night for some reason, and we talked about how if you are in a situation where, like this girl, you *cannot* speak up and be clear, and are uncomfortable doing so, well then you should not be intimate with that person to begin with - that discomfort like that is a signal that you should not be in that situation. [/quote] My issue with this is that the boy was 19 and the girl was 16. I agree that it was rape. But, what if the boy was also 16? Would that make a difference? The girl wanted to make out. Isn't it possible, in a similar situation, a girl could change her mind? She feels good and decides that she does want to have sex? She did NOT say no. Would it still be as clear cut that it was rape if the boy and girl were both 16? My best friend in college was wrongly accused of sexual assault. The charges were completely cleared, but like a PP said, the stigma of being accused follows you around everywhere. Especially in a small town. This is an interesting discussion and I struggle with the best approach. I have sons and a daughter and see both sides of this.[/quote]
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