Reply to Everyone says that they are busy with their own lives, no time for me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I just want to let you know that I have had the very same experience you're having.  It is really horrible.  I know this doesn't help you to solve the problem.  I'm sorry I don't have any good advice.  Sending good thoughts your way.[/quote]

OP here.  I am sorry to hear you are going through this.  What has worked for you so far?  Did you eventually make friends?[/quote]

Well, yes and no.  On a few occasions, I made friends, but eventually everyone moved away or they stopped working in the same office and seemed to forget about me.  I am apparently very "out of sight out of mind."  I now have a child and I get a little more interaction because of play dates, but overall I am still incredibly lonely.  After all the effort, all the reaching out without reciprocation, I have mostly given up.

[b]FWIW, I think a huge part of this is that my DH and I have virtually no family contact.  So we never have family dinners, weddings, holiday gatherings, birthday parties for cousins, etc etc.  I think for people with big families, that can fill half their social time, and then when you add in even a small number of "friends" outings, it seems like they are alway engaged.  I am so incredibly jealous of people with strong family social networks.  It will never happen for me and it makes me sad for my child, too.[/b]

I feel like I am being a real downer.  I'm sorry, this is probably the opposite of helpful![/quote]

This. My co-workers who have fun, busy weekends also have big families -- with numerous siblings, inlaws, nieces/nephews - someone always has a soccer game that you can go to or an outing you can tag along on. FWIW, that's great that they have such rich lives, but I do not count that as socializing. It is just harder for those of us with 3 person families that live 1000 miles away from us; we have to rely on others to be our friends -- whereas in most (functional) families you don't have to wait for an invite or tell someone you're lonely or wonder why they don't call you back, you can just tag along to Johnny's soccer game and half your Sat is occupied, by the time you get home, run errands, eat etc. all of Sat. is gone and all you have left is Sunday where you can just veg without feeling like "i didn't talk to anyone all weekend." Don't worry about these people's lives -- they have never had to make their own way socially and they don't understand what it's like to feel like you have nothing going on and nothing to do.[/quote]

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