Reply to Did schools used to have behavioral problems like they do now?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Parents don’t parent. DD 16 is a lifeguard and came home yesterday talking about a gentle parent trying to negotiate with her kid for several minutes to get out of the pool during break. Even teen DD could see it was a snowflake approach. [/quote]

The kid whose parent has the wherewithal to be calm and patient in that situation instead of grabbing the kid by the arm and dragging him out of the pool, or screaming at him, is not the kid who is having the massive meltdown in class that gets the classroom evacuated. The gentle parented kid might have other issues if his parents don't figure out how to set limits, but the truth is that a parent willing to spend several minutes talking to their kid when they aren't doing what they've been told is demonstrating patience and emotional regulation, which is still better than screaming and yanking your kid around in terms of teaching them how to behave.

I know making fun of parents doing "gentle parenting" is a favorite pastime around these parts, but that's not what is leading to kids who throw chairs or scream at people in middle school. [/quote]

Totally disagree. What some parents think is "gentle parenting" is really just absent parenting. The chair thrower in my eldest's class has a gentle parenting mom. I've seen her in action. She honestly doesn't say anything at all 90% of the time that he's poorly behaved. The other 10%, she quietly tells him to make better decisions/ come stand quietly next to her. All of it is completely ineffective and this kid wreaks havoc on the whole class. I'm honestly shocked at how she doesn't step in. He was injuring an animal during field day and I stepped in, and only then did she tell him to go play on the other side instead. She's checked out completely. She would absolutely just stand there and ask her kid to get out of the pool. But mostly, that mom was likely just waiting for the lifeguards to yell. Gentle parents seem to think other responsible figures in society need to tell their kids what to do instead  of them. [/quote]

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