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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]There was a bit where Tina feys character just sort of lists off all the things contributing to her mid aged quasi misery and one of them was “I’m at the pinnacle of a career that I’ve worked my whole life to achieve, and it’s just okay.” Her whole list was very relatable, at least for me.[/quote]

I related to her list too but I was so frustrated that once again she was making everything about her when her husband was begging to be allowed to express his own feelings.[/quote]

I really didn't read their dynamic this way at all. I get the sense that Jack has *always* been very expressive about his feelings and that Tina Fey had gotten into the habit of accommodating and walking on eggshells around him. We see that it was this way before Nick died -- in the Covid flashback episode, Jack is riddled with anxiety and expressing it constantly, and she's trying to support him by doing the daily poetry thing and advocating for him to others, but he is oblivious to how his behavior is impacting her or other people and only concerned about his own feelings. This continues when Nick dies. In the mountain/hiking episodes, Jack is talking a lot about his grief and the whole trip is his idea, and Tina Fey is again advocating for him and telling others that Jack "needs" this and she's trying to be supportive. It's also understandable why she might feel overwhelmed by his feelings or be walking on eggshells around him because he is obviously dealing with a ton of rage, as evidenced by him destroying that snack shack. Then he starts smoking weed every night to cope and doesn't tell her, and she only finds out because Danny finds the vape pen, and then when she tries to talk to him about it, he overreacts and decides they will just do their own thing and leave each other alone. Which leads to him being self-destructive and rude (it was unreal to me that he showed up to Thanksgiving still wearing his sweaty running clothes and then doesn't even bother to change while walking around being rude to all the people Anne has invited to her home to distract her from Nick memories). And then he has a GIANT fit and melts down in front of everyone and throws their dinner in the yard.

It seems to me like Jack was expressing his feelings constantly, she got overwhelmed, and because of her history with her mom (who was depressed to the point of not being able to function or care for her as a child) she just went into survival mode which mean appeasing and accommodating but maintaining emotional distance. Which is understandable because when someone you are in a relationship with is going back and forth between popping off in rage episodes and then totally withdrawing into substances to avoid thinking, it can be scary and frustrating.

It's nice at the end when he encourages her to express her own feelings for once (which she never gets to do, she always has to be the person in their marriage who is in control of her emotions and can be in a support role to him, even before Nick's death) and then is supportive. That was a nice side of him. But everything before that was his feelings taking center stage and her feeling she has no choice but to be supportive and listen and let him have his way. He's very emotionally immature.

Mostly I was waiting for someone on the show to tell him "you need to go to therapy instead of expecting your wife and friends to handle you with kid gloves through a difficult time -- this is life, sometimes it's hard, but you need to develop healthy coping methods to get through it, and this is not healthy." Like I'm sorry he was grieving and yes, losing a friend is incredibly hard, but he seemed to be waiting for others to come help him feel better instead of taking responsibility for his own emotions and figuring out how to deal with it.[/quote]

Hmmmm..I read that dynamic totally differently but I appreciate this perspective.[/quote]

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