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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Was my reaction reasonable?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Totally reasonable to be a bit irritated. Your emotions are your emotions, and you have a point. What matters is how you handle it. If you're snappish or peeved, that's immature. If you say something like "ugh, there goes two hours of my day, sigh" then that's uncalled for as well. But I think there's a path of good communication for this. "Hey honey - I can drive Larla to the babysitting gig for that week this summer. But I'm a bit irritated that you made this plan without asking me if I was available or if that worked for me. What if I had something scheduled, like a doctor's appointment or something? Or other plans for that week? I would appreciate it if you didn't offer up my time without checking with me first." Then see what he says. If he says "Oh, sorry didn't think of it, I'll check next time" then you're all set. Note what is not in here: "You always do this." If he does it again, then you can throw in a "We talked about this before - remember that week of shuttling Larla to babysitting in the summer? I'm frustrated that it happened again" but that's only once you've had the conversation. If he says "well, it seems like your job in the summer is to take Larla where she needs to go, and this falls under that umbrella" then you have a calm discussion about it and find agreement or a compromise. Handling this any other way than a calm discussion IS an overreaction. [/quote] Who are these people here trying to train us to be stepford wives. Your assessment of what is a reasonable conversation about this is utter hogwash. He is way out of line.[/quote] Disagree. PP is showing an example of what it's like to have a calm conversation with your spouse about your feelings. I don't tolerate BS from my husband and I would absolutely be upset if he did something like this without asking me first, but that doesn't mean I couldn't have a mature conversation about it. And if he had a mature response, then we'd be fine. No need to make a mountain out of a molehill because someone made a mistake. [/quote]
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