Reply to MIL asked DH to live with her after FIL’s death

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We live on the opposite side of the country from ILs.  DH recently flew to be with his parents for two weeks, to stay with his FIL until his passing (he had late stage cancer) and a few days after to help his mom with their affairs.

When DH came home, he told me that his mom had wanted him to live with her for a couple months.  Without us.  I understand her wanting his company, and asking him to stay for another week, or to visit again.  But DH is a grown man with a wife and young kids, not to mention a full-time job.

This is the same woman who told me from the early days of our marriage that now that DH was married, we should live our lives independently of theirs, expect nothing from them, and they would do the same.  I see now that this line was just an excuse for them to never visit us and to divest themselves of any grandparent-type duties (except when they felt like it), and that the expectation is one-way.  I completely support DH flying to his mom to help her out, or our whole family flying over to spend time with her.  But for DH to live with her without us?!?  I understand there is grief, but this expectation is just insanity, pure selfishness and disrespectful to me and the kids. [/quote]

I think you're being really dramatic. Presumably your MIL is older and this is the first time in many decades that she has been alone.

Can your husband do his job remotely? Does he have siblings? Does he want to go stay with her for a few months?

I get that having your spouse gone and you have young kids is a lot - do you work, OP? I'm guessing no or you wouldn't expect her to have invited you as well.

You have clearly never liked you MIL, but in my opinion, this is your husband's call to make. He can't be blind to the imposition it puts on your and your kids, but this is a once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing. [b]And if you don't work, then you are being really selfish and rude.[/b] [/quote]

Utter bull shite![/quote]

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