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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Choreplay is king. Do some chores so that I am not tired and resentful of you when we get in bed. If I am I not cussing you out in my mind you have a better chance of getting laid. [/quote]

I think that some men think this means that women literally get aroused by watching men do chores.

It’s more like having the chores done means that I can get into a headspace to get aroused if we start kissing and touching.  [/quote]

What if the guy always did his share of the chores? Would the woman's libido always be high(er)?

[b]I have been married twice, and lived with another woman. I always split the chores in a mutually agreed upon way. I never noticed any correlation between completing a household task and my partner's horniness.[/b][/quote]

There might be a correlation but not the one you see.  They were probably wiped out re-doing tasks you couldn't do right the first time.[/quote]

There’s no winning once you’re married and have kids. She’s gotten what she wanted to accomplish out of you (wedding and kids). Now resentment builds and there’s no answer you can offer as a man that’s the right one. Young kids are hard and she resents you for it. She sure as hell doesn’t want you experiencing any pleasure in life. Its a subtle, unspoken and passive feeling that ranges from indifference to hate. [/quote]

I get what you're saying, but look at it from a woman's perspective. Before kids, a man spends time on her, takes her out, entertains etc. After kids, suddenly the man disappears, leaving the woman with kids and pets all for her to take care of. In the rare moments that the man shows up, instead of helping, he lines up to get some attention from the woman as well. The woman has already spent the day catering to the kids and pets, as they all want to eat, be entertained and taken care of. The woman feels as if she's an indentured servant whose job for the next 20 years is to do what anybody else in the household wants/needs, and not managing to do anything that SHE wants, as the time and money is not unlimited. As the time goes on, resentment builds. I for example have been married 20+ years with a dead bedroom AND my DH thinks once the last kid leaves for college, I'll start catering to HIM, including cooking, cleaning and s*x. He doesn't understand AT ALL that my life has bee unfulfilling for the past 20 years, that I've put my own desires on the backburner to be a good mother, and that I don't give a f*k about what he wants. Once the last kid has launched, I intend to do WHAT I WANT. After being selfish for 20+ years, there's literally nothing my DH could do that would turn me on, but he has no idea, because he literally doesn't see anything wrong. It's OK in his opinion that a woman spends her life catering to others, in fact he'd prefer it.   [/quote]

This response to my post definitely demonstrated my statement about it being a “subtle, unspoken and passive feeling that ranges from indifference to hate”.

[b]I think that in good marriages, the spouses don’t lose themselves to being super-parents. [/b]If you want to have any marriage left after the kids leave for college you have to be a loving spouse first and be focused on hearing and meeting each other’s needs whether those needs are financial stability, household duty split, conversation, staying attractive or sex. Both spouses need to do this. Your marriage is actually the foundation of your childrens wellbeing. [/quote]

Where is the line between being a good parent, and a "super parent"?[/quote]

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