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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents and ILs want to be invited to everything for DC. Currently MIL is mad at me because we didn’t invite them to a school program. It [b]honestly didn’t occur to me.[/b] This was a first school program we as PARENTS had every even been to due to Covid. My grandparents never came to any of my school programs. I doubt my parents invited them. [b]Some times I just want to do things with just our immediate family. 
[/b]
Also, [b]they very rarely offer to help out with DC. I’m in desperate need of help a couple hours 2x a week for the summer that they could easily help with, but nope.[/b]

What’s typical for your family? We already see one set of grandparents weekly, another every couple of weeks. [/quote]

Honestly, just invite both sets of grandparents for everything.  They can come or not come - leave it up to them.

Don't try to use access to grandkids as a passive-aggressive way to force them into babysitting for you.  This is exactly what you are doing.

Give equal access to both sets of parents.  See each set of parents every week or every other week. [/quote]

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