Reply to Is HE the AH?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it’s irresponsible to gossip about other people’s lives and then try to make character judgments on your *spouse* when they participate in the fun catty gossip that we all get to indulge in as a part of marriage.

Either your home is a safe space for that kind of commentary (which I think you want it to be since you brought up her trip to Vegas unasked), or it’s not and you shouldn’t gossip at all.

Your marriage is more important than whether some random friend is making good life choices or not. Priorities, lady![/quote]

OP wasn't gossiping about the friend - based on her post, she was telling her husband because she thought it was a good thing that her friend was going on a trip. And then her husband reacted to the story like an AH. Kind of like you. [/quote]
It’s benign gossip to comment on your friend’s activities at all.

I guess he was just supposed to say nothing or something bland (like Oh, that’s nice honey; or repeat OP’s own same opinion back to her), in which case, what’s the point of having a two person conversation? [/quote]

Yes.  This is how normal people talk.  You just kind of say what’s on your mind and talk about what happened during your day. 
I just had a conversation with my husband this morning and as part of it I told him that our neighbor’s dad died.  He said, “Oh, that’s really sad.”  He echoed my opinion back to me.  It was totally fine.  
[/quote]
Because he just happened to have the same opinion as you this time.

If (hypothetically) he didn’t find it sad that an old man died, would you run his comment that he put all of 20 seconds of thought into past the internet thought police to figure out whether he was an AH? I don’t think that’s how normal people talk or treat each other, actually.[/quote]

If you haven’t put more than 20 seconds of thought into something, you don’t need to express your poorly informed opinions.  Just go with the flow.  Say it’s sad that the kids’ grandpa died and that it’s good the widow gets to do something fun.

Of course, if there is something that you feel strongly about, then you should express your opinion and disagree with your spouse.  But if you don’t actually care, then just go with it.

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No one here cares how much thought he put into it. If he had thought about this for years, people would have the same reaction. People here are mad that he committed the crime of disagreeing with a women (both his wife and the coworker). [/quote]

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