Reply to 2E parent of a 2E child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And no, he is not on the spectrum. He has a major league executive dysfunction problem combined with a laissez faire/ "who, me?" attitude.And it's always external forces, always someone else's problem/responsibility/mistake. Not him.[/quote]
It sounds like he is trying to avoid shame and preserve his dignity in the face of an overwhelming problem. Kids say they don't care, but really they do, they just don't know how to solve the problem and they are ashamed and try to save face.[/quote]
I never bought into this “shame” theory. I think it was introduced by therapists as a way for victims to feel ok about bad things happening.

It’s self-sabotage and everyone sees through it except the saboteur.

Yes he wants to avoid admitting he screwed up, but to attempt to preserve his (fake) image and ego. Not to go improve and set up states so things improve.  Ultimately it’s delusional. But we all play along so he doesn’t get depressed (more) and spiral. [/quote]
OP try using the mantra they teach in Unstuck and on Target: "it's not your fault, but it is your responsibility."  As in, it's not your fault that you have ASD, ADHD, or weak EF, but it is your responsibility to learn how to cope with this situation so you can move forward.

You're going to have to say it hundreds or thousands of times before it sinks in.  If you're 2E too, you should understand why.[/quote]

Yes we all like that phrase. But as you know it’s the doing and systematizing that gets results, not the intent or saying it.[/quote]

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