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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Let me add one more thing.  I texted my brother last night to question the need to keep sending money for Larla visits, and my brother--who actually likes my mother and just visited her-- replied "we kind of asked the same question."  He went on to say that when he visited it was hard to see whether she "gave a shit" about anybody who was in the room, including our sister.  He is convinced that she's "all there . . . just completely unmotivated" and thinks she needs a geriatric psychiatric evaluation.

It's just very hard to sympathize because she's always been difficult and the stroke just made her bad qualities even worse.  And the irony of all of this is she and my sister never got along before the stroke and my sister still doesn't really even like her!

Again, we are not talking about paying a professional caregiver.  Larla would do nothing but visit.  To keep an eye on the real caregivers is what I suspect.  But here's the thing:  we could pay Larla a million dollars to be there 24/7 and my sister is still going to visit regularly.  She just will.  So a close eye will be kept regardless and Larla is just an unnecessary expense.  And taking my brother at his word, why pay Larla to visit when my mother doesn't even "give a shit" that she's there?[/quote]

Figure out a united front with other siblings. Maybe a compromise could be that Larla visits at the beginning and then she gets cut out? Maybe your sister wants to keep the familiarity of Larla and perhaps Larla actually gets along with your mom. [/quote]

According to my sister, my mother treats Larla like shit whenever she visits.   It just rolls off Larla.  I am telling you, my sister wants Larla because she wants somebody visiting at least once a day and often twice, and she trusts Larla.  So I will pay for many Larla visits.[/quote]

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