Reply to My niece lives with us and recently got engaged — navigating changing family dynamics.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Due to the circumstances, his parents have offered to cover the cost of their wedding. She has long dreamed of having a wedding, so she plans to go ahead with it. She does not currently want a job, nothing will convince her, and intends to be a stay-at-home mom, which her fiancé supports. Overall, their relationship appears healthy, and they are compatible and get along well, I think they’ll be fine. OP[/quote]

It's weird how every single person in her life is totally fine with her freeloading off them. You, her fiancé, his parents. Why would they pay for her dream wedding?! Why would ANYONE be okay with her not having a job. She DOES understand that parenting is a full-time job, right? [/quote]

Yes, she understands that parenting is a full time job. She just doesn’t want a traditional job. Her fiancé and his parents really like her, and are supportive. My husband and I financially supported her, because we care and she needed help. I think a job would be great, but since she has no education, it would probably be very low skilled in areas like retail, etc, and she isn’t willing to work in those environments, so she currently can’t get a job. But she’s only 19, so maybe things will change in the future. She’s still very young, and figuring out who she is and what she wants out of life.[/quote]

No! She did not "NEED" help. She wanted help, because she is not developing into an adult properly. She wanted to be lazy and avoid responsibility, and you have enabled her. You should apologize to her parents for undermining their efforts to teach her adult skills. The way people figure out who they are and what they want out of life is to TRY THINGS and have EXPERIENCES that teach them. Not just sit around like you are letting her do. You are hurting her.

You should not bring her on vacation or allow her to bring her fiance. If she wants a vacation she should plan and pay for it herself. Because that's the kind of thing a SAHM, and everyone, needs to learn to do. [/quote]

This. I would be mad as heck at you as my sister for interfering in launching my child. You have done her a great disservice by not backing up your sibling in insisting that she go to college. [/quote]

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