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[quote=Anonymous]My parents always put themselves and their marriage first. Always. 
They have been very happily married for 50 years. It IS nice to have happily married parents because I do not worry in the least about their marriage or loneliness, etc.

The only problem is that we kids knew that we rarely came first. We knew that we were a second priority because their decisions, small and large, over the years have reflected that.

Trust me, that is NOT a good feeling and it has negatively impacted the adult parent/child relationships. We all feel deep inside that our parents would never truly place our needs first in life because they never have. In some ways, they could have been a very happy childless couple, as they were very fulfilled within their two-some.

So do not make your kids feel that they always come second and your spouse always comes first.

Instead, let them learn that there is always an abundance to go around and that everyone in a family is a priority. There is no hierarchy of needs to be met. There is enough to fill everyone's needs.

Operate out of a model of abundance rather than scarcity.

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