Reply to My Eating Disorder is ruining my marriage

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi. Can you share a little about what regarding meals becomes a battle?  [/quote]

I have a lot of fear foods and food rules so I get really stressed about meal planning. I have a dietician helping me with this but my husband ends up being my accountability which can get tense. [/quote]

I was the one that asked. I have an ED also. My sponsor is my accountability not my spouse. My spouse learned early in he cannot be my food police, eating police, weight police. It's heartbreaking for him and besides, policing isn't the solution.

That's one set of battles you can eliminate. Do nit use him or any family member for accountability. [/quote]

This. Loved ones being the police of eating is very stressful and relationship is constantly about tough love and never letting the guard down or they will spiral down. I have a loved one with whom we struggle from her tween years, and ED has taken away nearly all her childhood and relationship has always been about policing the eating; couldn't celebrate anything (graduation, etc.) because of ED. It is extremely hard to imagine this frame of reference for those who have not seen how anti-biological the brain is for those suffering this horrible illness.

For those with anorexia who have recovered or are managing to stay afloat, when did you realize that ED is not worth keeping as part of your life? We have seen that therapists are of no use unless the person suffering wants to get out of the throes of the illness. And for those suggesting meds, there are no meds for anorexia. TIA.[/quote]

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