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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Having seen via my extended family how damaging estrangement can be, I’m of the opinion that you should only cut off close family members in cases of real abuse (not, they hurt my feelings)/for safety reasons. But this is an unpopular opinion on DCUM.

Almost any relationship has some strife at some point. It’s actually not normal for relationships and life to be stress-free, completely comfortable all the time, etc. So other strategies like setting boundaries, continuing the relationship on your own terms, reducing but not eliminating contact are almost always better than cutting someone out of your life completely. [/quote]

The damage you may see if people who suddenly have to deal with their own mental illness instead of unloading on someone else. They needed that child/sibling to play a role and be mocked/gossiped about/chastised/manipulated and now they have to deal with eachother and themselves. My question to you is, how is the person who decided to distance? Why don't you care about that person's wellbeing? How are you defining "real abuse?" Is that only physical and sexual abuse for you? Were you inside the home 24-7 and observing interactions? What makes you think you are in a position to judge whether there was abuse? [/quote]

You’re making a lot of assumptions. In this case, there was no abuse (or claims of abuse) in either direction. The people who did the cutting off are definitely the ones initiating the problems, not the other way around. And they have cut off almost every family member on both sides, plus some friends. Why do people here always assume that the person doing the cutting off is right and a victim? In this case, it’s a spiteful and manipulative person. And, no, they don’t seem very happy before or after alienating almost everyone around them. [/quote]

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