Reply to I thought I'd made a new friend, but I guess I did not. Middle-age is rough.

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Reply to "I thought I'd made a new friend, but I guess I did not. Middle-age is rough."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think if it feels off, it feels off. I can't recall ever feeling weird about friendships in my 20s, because it didn't feel weird, and I have always had some friends who had a whole bunch of friends and I didn't ever feel sidelined or hurt because I wasn't invited to everything. It just felt fine and right.

So when I had the feelings you describe (not until my 30s with "mom" friends) I pushed it off as my being silly and insecure and tried to ignore it, but my instincts were right. I don't enjoy the feeling of adults playing games at all.[/quote]

This is straight talk. I actually experienced more of this "game playing" pre-kids, but it was in a specific setting at a job where people were very social. If things feel off, pay attention. You don't have to do anything, but don't invest heavily in those friendships. Might just be they aren't really interested in new friends, might be something else, but just trust your gut and only hang out with people where you get good vibes.

No point in spending lots of time stressing over a friendship that may or may not be. Just let it all go. If she really wants to hang out, she'll reach out to you.

Make yourself busy in the meantime -- classes, work, kids, whatever. When you're really busy, you won't spend time ruminating over stuff like this.[/quote]

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