Reply to Conversing with people who don't ask you questions

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a colleague with whom I have worked closely for two years.  She has NEVER asked a question about me, and will literally come find me in the morning and begin telling me what she did the night before, or what she is planning to do for the weekend, etc.  I know all about her boyfriends (she is in an "open relationship" and sleeps with lots of men), her kids and their teacher issues and their horrible father, plus all the details about her divorce and ongoing feud with the ex-spouse.

My theory with these people is that they are deeply insecure because they probably can't udnerstand why they can't make or keep close friendships, which drives them to seek out other people to talk to even more desperately.  [/quote]

[b]Why don’t you ever talk about your life? You just let her talk and when it’s your turn you don’t say anything?
[/b]
I have a coworker like this. Any questions we ask her get one sentence answers. Very vague answers that don’t allow for any follow up. I’ve noticed no one talks to her now or asks her anything. All of us just assume she’s very private and doesn’t want to talk to us. Sometimes I try very hard and tell her a story about something she’s interested in, but still she doesn’t engage. (For instance about a book I read when I know she’s a big reader) She's a great coworker though. [/quote]

I'm a DP, but would like to address this.  I don't think you understand the kind of person being discussed here.  This is a very narcissistic type.  If i actually get an opportunity to say something about myself - which would generally involve interrupting - this person gets visibly annoyed.  They don't like to take a break in their one-sided "conversation" to entertain anything the other person might have to say.  It's just not important or relevant if it isn't about them.  If I manage to get something in, they will look impatient and then continue with whatever they had been saying, totally ignoring the fact that I just spoke.

In short, this isn't not being able to keep up our end of the conversation.  There *is* no "our end."  It's entirely one-sided with one person talking AT you - about themselves.[/quote]

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