Reply to The Bachelorette -- TFP

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Good on the cancellation. They should never have cast her.

But also I think it's important to point out that Dakota and Taylor have a mutually abusive dynamic, and him releasing this video when he did was part of it. I'm not defending Taylor or what she does in the video -- she's abusive, her kids are in danger, and she needs help. But I also happen to believe her that Dakota was also physically abusing her in the incident depicted on the video. And also the fact that he continued to date her and be closely involved with her for years after what happened on the video, and even after she started filming this season of the Bachelorette, should tell you a lot about their dynamic.

I presume he was angry about the show premiering that would show her dating/hooking up with other men, and related this video to ruin it for her. I don't feel bad for her because she did that and it shouldn't be celebrated, but you can't ignore that he is also terrible.

I mostly just feel bad for their son and for her kids from her previous marriage. Awful.[/quote]

As long as you hold the same anger and blame for women who stay with their abuser and who yell and push back. The majority of abuse is mutual (about 2/3).

She just assaulted him again recently. Everything in the video is written out in his statement that has been available on line for 3 years. He doesn't need to stay silent because he is a man. And she ruined it with her behavior - he didn't ruin it for her.

Damaged people attract damaged people. A lot of abuse victims are pretty damaged people who aren't particularly nice themselves or great at relationships.  Watch police videos online of calls to homes for domestic violence.

[/quote]

PP here. You misunderstand. I am not angry at Dakota for not leaving or blaming him for the whole dynamic. My ire here is at people who eat up the news of their relationship like entertainment when it's clearly an abusive relationship.

I am pointing out that the video release was likely timed specifically to lash out at Taylor to show that this whole thing is an abuse dynamic we are all participating in. I think Taylor decided to do the Bachelorette in part to bait Dakota and make him jealous, and get him back with her. I think he released this video at this precise time to undermine the positive attention she was getting from the Bachelorette and ruin this opportunity for her, because he believes if he can bring her down, she will have to tie herself to him.

No one should be watching any of these people on reality shows or watching this video. These people need to go solve their problems privately and far from the public eye. The best thing the public can do for the kids in this scenario is STOP WATCHING. Don't book them for interviews, don't offer them reality shows, etc. The public attention is like oxygen for their abuse. It's making it worse. [/quote]

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