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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here- my question was, what is the purpose of this obsession? What is the outcome that parents are looking for? Doesn’t everyone want their kids to be happy, responsible, independent, social and have friends ? Eventually settle down and get married and have their own families? How much of that has anything to do with what college they go to? Does going to UVA or UMD vs Harvard or Stanford mean the kid is unable to live a meaningful life? Be happy, independent and responsible?[/quote]

OP, I can only speak to my own family’s perspective and experience, but 1) my DD is aro/ace and doesn’t want kids, and I fully respect that, so no, I don’t want her to “settle down and get married and have their own families.” 2) a prestigious college was never her “obsession,” but academics have always come extremely easy to her (maybe because she was never distracted by relationships, who knows), and her standout extracurricular in high school was academic in nature. Objectively speaking, she did not “grind” in the sense that many posters are presuming. She is ultra nerdy by nature and chose her classes and activities out of love, not pressure. 3) She is “happy, independent, responsible, social” at HYPSM because it is the right fit for her. There is a right fit (and almost certainly multiple) for every student.[/quote]

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