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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1) No phone. Phone is gone. Flip phone with no internet if she needs it.

2) She earns the money to replace the laptop. If the school is covering the cost (I don't know how that works), then she earns the money of the value of the laptop and gives it to the PTA. I would guess the best time to be earning that money is... during her suspension. When she FOR SURE isn't doing anything fun (no friends, no screens).

3) Tell the counselor, talk to the folks at school, do whatever they recommend.

4) Is there anything that she likes doing that you two can do together? Get something that fits that description on the calendar for within he next month. She does need some safe connection. (Obviously don't connect these two things for her, but it's a wake up call to you that the two of you need some quality time).

5) After things calm down (maybe a couple days) and she's past the suspension and has come to terms with her various punishments, see if you can get her to open up to you. NOT about the suspension, no judgment, nothing like that, just something like "how are you feeling about Stepmom?" or "you've seemed so unhappy lately - what's the worst part?" or something. See if you can get her talking about what's going on with her, non-judgmentally. Maybe there are things that you or she or the family can do differently that would make her life a little easier or better that are within the realm of family life. Demonstrate some creative problem solving. [/quote]
Thanks for the suggestions.

I'm trying to take the phone away as a consequence, but I recognize she needs it to stay in touch with her dad and family, so I'll be giving her cell plan back and figuring out another approach.[b] Right now, she’s limited to two hours a day, which is punishment enough for her—she really hates being off it. [/b]I can also ask the school, about computer usage.

We do have to pay for the damage that she caused. Her suspension starts tomorrow and she goes back to school on Thursday, so that is a long time to work on earning that money.

We're working closely with medical professionals, and were currently in the process of seeking an evaluation. Her dad only got remarried a year and a half ago. She’s been in therapy, but it hasn’t been very effective, so they’re wondering if their is something deeper going on.

She spends most of her time with me and refuses to go to her dad's. We do a lot of activities she enjoys (when she isn’t being a total brat!) and we’re actively addressing her challenges together.[/quote]

Oh, FFS. This is a troll, guys.[/quote]

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