Reply to Modern Love: Lindy West and polyamory

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Lindy has a substack called Butt News.  Today's was about the discourse about her:

https://buttnews.substack.com/p/people-are-allowed-to-want-to-be

Seems like more than DCUM is discussing her marriage/relationships. I was surprised that DCUM had mostly a consensus opinion. But seems like a lot of the country does, too.

AND she's at politics and prose tonight, anyone going?  [/quote]

Look I'm glad if she's happy and in general feel very live and let live about whatever way people want to set up their personal, consensual, adult relationships. If she had not written about this in the book or done that NYT interview and I just heard through the grapevine that Lindy West was in a polyamorous marriage with a man and a woman and they were happy, I wouldn't care one way or another.

The way she has written and spoken about this arrangement is sending up a lot of red flags for me. I have been in a a situation where someone tried to gaslight me into something I was very uncomfortable with by shaming me for being too "limited" or "closed-minded" to want to have the sort of relationship they wanted to have. Lindy's comments on her situation immediately made me think of that situation, and how for years I really did believe that my disinterest in a polyamorous, open, pansexual relationship for myself was the result of me being repressed. It was only via therapy and work on myself that I finally addressed the critically low self-esteem that had me thinking I needed to change what I wanted out of a relationship to accommodate someone who simultaneously claimed to love me but also thought I was very basic and needed to change everything about me to be more like them.

Could I be projecting my own situation onto West? Sure! But I can only call it like I see it and you can't write a whole-ass book about your marriage and relationships and then be surprised when people have thoughts and feelings about it.[/quote]

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