Reply to Tension with Wife's Family over Finances

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[quote=Anonymous]The problem is not that your families have different approaches to finances. The problem is that you are so sure that your family's way is the "right" way and theirs is the "wrong" way. You need to accept that they are different and make choices (together with your wife) that work for your nuclear family within her broader family context.

So big time, right off the bat, this:

"He was ticked off at me once I informed him the payments on these "loans" would come to an end once our marriage took place."

Was a major dick move. What?!? She's an adult that presumably made this deal with her dad and agreed to it, and you stepped in and changed the terms?? I honestly can't believe that he doesn't hate you for that. Of course there's tension. You want to fix it? Apologies and resume payments.

As far as the vacations and the restaurants - I can understand you being ticked the first time when you didn't realize what was happening, but now? You know the drill. Anything you agree to do with them, you're paying your half. Accept that that's the deal. If the vacation is worth it to you guys, you go and you pay your half. If it's too much money, or not worth the money, then you say no. They complain? Shrug. Grown children don't do exactly what their parents want all the time. Such is life.

But you are a man grown and need to realize that people get to do with their money what they wish. You're coming off super entitled and crappy in this post - the world doesn't always work the way You Think Is Best, and since you're not a toddler, I would expect you to be able to handle that. [/quote]

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