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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I think that what this is really about is this:

"My son is an only child and I had hoped he would have strong ties with his cousins, though they are all a bit older than him."

The reason you're upset is that you've realized that hasn't happened. They don't have an amazing, special, sibling-like bond as you'd hoped. He's just... their much-younger cousin. And it's TOTALLY reasonable to be really, really disappointed about that, and for this wedding to be the catalyst that makes you realize that what you'd hoped for (despite your efforts and financial support) has not come to fruition. We all have hopes, some spoken, some unspoken, some realistic, some not, that don't come true. And accepting that they haven't can be really hard and can even sometimes shatter our worldview in a way that's really hard to move past. But, especially when your hopes include expectations of other people that they haven't agreed to, or maybe haven't even known about, you need to let go and move on. There's an aspect to getting past those hopes that can include anger and grief. And I think that's where you are. And if you need a little time to fully get past it, that's okay. 
[/quote]

Op again - this is accurate.  Another part that hurts and isn't reflected is that this nephew in particular is the one cousin who does take an interest in my son.[/quote]

I'm the PP.

Okay. I understand, but then you need to realize this: It's not about the wedding. Your nephew has done nothing wrong here. He takes an interest in your son - that's a good thing. But he's still a much younger cousin and this is a childfree wedding.

Try to separate your emotional response to realizing that they aren't as close as you'd hoped from the wedding. Even if your nephew's mother (or whoever) says "She didn't ask or anything, but I can tell Aunt Larla is really disappointed that Larlo isn't invited - can we squeeze him in?" and your nephew says "argh, I guess" and invites your son - the fact that they're not as close as you wanted them to be will remain. IE, nothing about the wedding at this point will solve the reason you're actually hurt. So, grieve the relationship you hoped they'd have, and try to focus on the good stuff - does your son have any really close friends you a see him staying in touch with? Family friends who are becoming like family? There's plenty of ways for an only child to have tight, lifelong bonds - focus on developing those. And try to enjoy the wedding![/quote]

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