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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I answered earlier but I’m also going to add my observation that for many of us, our parents never had to deal with what we are facing. Neither of my parents had to do elder care. They all died fairly young, rather suddenly in their 60s and 70s. My parents were in theirs 30s/earky 40s at the time. My mom didn’t work. By contrast I (and many of my friends) are engaged in longer term caregiving , not living near parents, parenting kids/teens and in tow working parent families (or single working parent families). At 83, my mom fortunately agreed to move to AL near me, for which  am deeply grateful, especially after her Alzheimer’s got worse.

People are living longer but not necessarily healthier lives, end of life care costs have spiraled, ltc coverage no longer worth it, it’s a real crisis.[/quote]

I think this is the crux of the matter - lives extended by modern healthcare/drugs, but low quality of life for (sometimes) very extended amount of time.  It doesn't feel like this is the way we humans are supposed to go out.  Something has to give.  As the baby boomer cohort ages, there has to be an examination of what all this money and intervention is really achieving.  Palliative care needs to be a big part of the conversation.  I know religious people are going to come for me, but if God is allowing all the modern medical intervention, why wouldn't he allow people to decide when enough is enough?[/quote]

I think the issue is nobody agrees what DNR versus 'allow natural death' versus all the other 'words' mean! We have a whole debate on antibiotics and advanced directives and still nobody can clarify. It's really not easy to clarify!

I had a loved one who was 80 plus and they put him on heart medications. No extreme intervention- just run of the mill heart medications. Looking back, I think even that was too interventionist (and I know people will come after that!). Palliative care and comfort would have been kinder than forcing a heart that wants to start to keep going with medications at that age. But it's easy for doctors to write a script and they don't want to be sued. I don't think anyone really understands this. [/quote]

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