Reply to Stepdaughter (16) is out of control

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She tends to do a bit better at her mom’s house, which is part of why we decided to send her there. Her parents have been divorced for many years and I’ve been in her life for several, so this isn’t a brand new dynamic.  She’s done therapy in the past but is currently refusing to go. We’ve also tried for years to get her a full neuropsych evaluation, but she won’t participate. She was diagnosed with ADHD by her pediatrician in elementary school, but she will not take any medication or see her psychiatrist. We’ve tried so many different approaches over the years, but she refuses to listen to or respect my husband at all, which has made things especially difficult. -OP[/quote]

1. Does she have any siblings and how are they? Is she oldest, youngest or middle?
2. Why did her parents divorce and hold old was she then?
3. How is your relationship with her one-on one? How is your relationship with her mother? How is dad's relationship with the bio mom?
[b]4. Of course she was diagnosed with ADHD; that's the first default. It means nothing. You are medicalizing a problem that is probably trauma related to her parents' divorce. [/b]
5. When did her relationship with her father nosedive, and why? [/quote]

That kind of distorted thinking is why children cannot get the right medical and psychiatric. No. No trauma is going to manufacture ADHD symptoms out of thin air.

My best friend's husband kept claiming for many years that the fact their child was adopted explained all the concerns her teachers had, namely, inattention and reading problems. At 16, this child asked for an evaluation, in which it was revealed that she was dyslexic and had ADHD.

While there can be trauma from challenging childhood situations, the ADHD, learning disabilities, anxiety, depression and autism are often standalone diagnoses and exist because they have been genetically inherited.

DO NOT BELIEVE THAT EVERYTHING IS EXPLAINED BY DIVORCE. That's a road to disaster.

[/quote]

Bless your heart. Divorce messes kids up. No amount of lying to yourself about that changes the fact.[/quote]

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