Reply to Stepdaughter (16) is out of control

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is a troll right?[/quote]

Sadly, this is probably not a troll and why you don’t want your kids to have step parents.[/quote]

It’s easy to demonize a stepmom but notice which parent cares enough to write this post?  Workaholic dad is escaping into work.  Stepmom is at the end of her rope.  She CARES enough to ask for help here.  She is clearly not the villain.  Dad is the one who needs to take time off and parent his daughter.  Maybe even take a demotion or forget about being on partner track.

I was this stepmom 15 years ago, powerless as I watched the train wreck before me and frustrated and pissed that my DH and his ex were basically refusing to parent.  I posted here so often asking for help and advice and I was lucky to occasionally get a nugget or two of wisdom amidst all the stepmom hate.  My DH and his ex were so caught up in avoiding conflict with their daughter (because they didn’t want to “lose” her to the less strict parent) tha they let her get away with SO MUCH self-destruction; it was torture to watch.  And torture for my SD who was screaming, screaming (through her increasingly self-destructive actions) for someone to SET SOME LIMITS and boundaries in her life.  She ended up a heroin addict, finding her habit through stripping and later worse.

I was the only one who saw the truth of what she was doing. I did get her into voluntary rehab once, but she stayed only 30 days and it didn’t stick.  (Her mom came to get her, didn’t stick to any of our boundaries, and set her up on a road to death again.)  She was arrested I can’t count how many times.  The only thing tha finally got DH to cut her off was when her BFF oD’d and died.  We told her we would pay for inpatient treatment and nothing else, no lawyers, no bail, no rent.

She is clean now, and has been for 7 years.  I am closer to her than either of her parents, and she has told me more of what she went through than either of them know.  I am not her mom, and I never will be, but I know my love and care helped guide her path back to life.  Her parents’ enabling nearly killed her.

OP’s DH needs to be a dad.[/quote]

Seriously I cannot understand why women marry into these situations. Why would you agree to raise a child with someone who is such an awful parent?[/quote]

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