Reply to Ex Can’t Do School Logistics Anymore

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That will leave the kids isolated with dad far away every weekend. What if they do sports or want to see friends? Why did he do something so selfish and destructive to the kids’ quality of life? [/quote]
OP here. He moved to be closer to the woman he impregnated, and changed his work role (and thus, schedule) to be accommodating to their new child.

I’m absolutely not trying to still be his wife, no thank you. But I do want my kids in school, and I do think that’s important. I don’t think it’s crazy to worry about whether or not my kids will be tardy or stranded because of him. It’s not my problem, but of course it is in the end when they are missing school or stranded there because he’s at work and doesn’t seem concerned about a real problem.

I don’t want more money from him, I also don’t think it’s fair to lose every weekend over this, and I don’t even care about having them 100% of the time if it comes to that, I just want them to be able to get to/from school. [/quote]

I think it is really best if you focus on keeping the arrangement you have and not worry about he is going to make this all work. If there’s kids are tardy or stranded, you will find out and can take action from there. Otherwise anything you do is going to be meddling.[/quote]
I understand what you’re saying, but how long would I allow it to happen before stepping in? I don’t love the idea of them missing school or sitting in the office while they wait for their dad, if I can just take them—but then that would be me solving this for them. I just don’t want them to be the losers in this, since I can absolutely “solve” this. [/quote]

Ask your lawyer what it would take to get a change in custody, just so you have that info.

It might actually be good for them to have to sit in the office and wait for him a couple times vs. you stepping in. They will whine and give him HELL, as they should!

This is a good time to remind yourself that the environment you provide them will be their stability and comfort and it WILL be enough even if their dad flakes on them. I see so many divorced moms worry way too much about dad “messing up” the kids and it leads them to do crazy things to overcompensate for the guilt, and that end up being just as harmful to the kids and absolute poison to the dynamic. [/quote]

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