Reply to DH's angry parenting is ruining our family

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yikes! 
Did you and your husband plan and discus having children?

Can’t believe divorce isn’t an option for a physically violent man who lashes out on his own kids

Is he abusive w you? [/quote]
I'm a PP whose DH became easily frustrated with our kids.

[b]You don't know what kind of parent you will be until you have kids.[/b]  It also depends on the kid's temperament. Some kids are easier than others.

And IMO, rough handling your child is not necessarily abusive in the legal sense.   IMO breaking up a family over this incident (or a few others) without trying to work on your parenting  is not the answer.[/quote]

I call BS - I knew exactly what kind of parent I wanted to be when I had kids. I knew 10 years before I had kids and 5 years before I met my husband.  I played a HUGE role in choosing a husband. We both took parenting classes before and after our fist was born. Two kids are adults and 2 are teens and yes - we are the parents we thought we would be.  We were always in the same page. And YES parenting can be difficult, frustrating, and challenging - which is when you have to rely on each other most.

I’m flabbergasted at people like you who get married and have kids - the biggest life impacting decision you will ever make - without giving it much thought.  If you don’t think about this what on earth do you put thought into?[/quote]

Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face. If everything worked out for you exactly the way you expected, great, but that's not the case for a lot of people and it's not because they don't know what kind of parent they want to be. [/quote]

I’m the PP you responded to - and it sounds like OP was “punched in the face” - she said her husband changed after kids. She didn’t say she changed her values. HE changed in an abusive ugly way - which is grounds for divorce.  She could have had those conversations and he lied for all we know. But I think people who don’t discuss how they will parent and don’t put thought into how kids will change your life BEFORE marriage are complete and total idiots. Sure a few people will lie for whatever reason about who they are - most won’t. My guess is you didn’t give much thought to kids and I’m sorry for you.[/quote]

You have no idea how many people think about it, discuss it, or lie. It worked out for you and you want to think that's something besides luck because it's easier to be smug than acknowledge there are a lot of things out of our control.[/quote]

Learn the difference between smug and smart - I know they are both “s” words[/quote]

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