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Reply to "17 year old daughter smashed car window"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"She had found the keys, smashed them, and then cracked her car window — two huge cracks. Completely solo." She smashed her keys? How did she crack the car window? Anyway...my son never did this but he was difficult to say the least. It's VERY EASY to say...take the car away. Take the phone away. No privileges, etc. etc. But when a kid is like this, you don't want to drive them even further away. You don't want you kid to HATE you. We tried family therapy and he REFUSED! Again, you can't make people do things. Sure you can threaten, but that drives a deeper wedge. In our case, our son went to individual counseling but somehow he got the therapist on his side. It's tough. This crap isn't easy. Soooo many of our friends SEEM to have these angel kids too to make it worse. But yes, no doubt you need to make your daughter pay for the window. I'm sure she even understands that. How long to take away the car...not really sure. Maybe until she starts respecting you better. Good luck! Sucks! [/quote] I have to agree with this poster. I also have a very difficult son - 16yo now and it's getting harder to give him consequences. When we do, things blow up even more. He hasn't walked out and defied us yet, but I'm waiting for the day. He's a REALLY good kid at school and with other people. We get compliments on how lovely he is all of the time. Never had a call from school, ever. But with us, he's defiant, can get very angry, and consequences either don't work or create an even bigger problem. Our other child doesn't have ANY of these issues. It's crazy how some kids are just impossible. We've tried therapy 3x - individual and family, and he refuses to go, is quiet there, creates a huge fight every week. I'm sorry, OP. I don't have much to offer buty sympathy. People who don't have a child like this will never get it and will blame you and accuse you of spoiling her. I've read all the books, gave all the consequences - he does not GAF! You're doing all you can do by taking away privileges and making her pay for the damage. I'd say that she has proven that she is not trustworthy or mature enough to go out and socialize while keeping to the rules.[/quote]
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