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[quote=Anonymous]My mom died when I was a teen, and my dad was dating again in months, which shocked me.  I was a mess and he was suddenly cheerful and seemingly obsessed with whichever new woman he happened to be dating.  He THREW himself into each relationship, as OP is doing, and would prioritize each girlfriend over me and my brothers.  Eventually he married one, and she and her children/grandchildren are his life and his focus.

I spent my late teen and young adult years really messed up by this.  He was my DAD, and I kept thinking I could just explain how I felt, or how my brothers felt, he would somehow care about us again.  But no. He made it VERY clear that his girlfriend was his priority and he expected us to respect her and accept that her wants, needs, and family were the most important thing to him.  I remember in the months and early years after my mom died, it was almost scary how radically my dad changed from someone who loved me and was interested in me and cared to someone who had zero interest in me at all.

But, I met other people in the same situation in college and beyond.  And it is a pattern.  This truly is what most men are like.  They are somehow programmed to place the woman with whom they are sleeping above everyone else, including children from their first deceased wife, and any love or interst they had in those children just kind of dissipates with the first wife.  They care about and are programmed to protect/engage with the children of their current woman.

OP prioritizes his new girlfriend.  He would defend her from his children, and that is what he is doing, as you can see.  If his children can't bring themselves to accept her, he will shrug off those children without regret.  The new woman is his priority.

This is why you should ensure that your finances are in order to ensure that your kids are protected if you die.  You can't assume your husband will be the same man with the same priorities if you are gone and he has a new wife.  [/quote]

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