Reply to No sex drive and dh and I argue over it constantly!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s mostly ‘joke’ bickering but obviously he’s frustrated. I don’t blame him but it is just so hard to get in the mood. I’m exhausted most of the time, have headaches a lot, etc. Honestly if I found out he got it elsewhere on occasion, there’s part of me that would not care. I know he loves me and we will be together.

Anyone else navigating this issue? [/quote]

I am exhausted most of the time and get horrible, horrible headaches frequently.

But I will have sex with my husband anyway as often as possible.  Why?  Because I love having sex.  It’s not really about him, he’s overweight and a decent but not particularly talented lover.  I don’t need to read smut, I have smut running in my head frequently. I don’t need to get in the mood because I’m always in the mood, and I don’t need all the chores to be done because who cares.

What I’ve realized over the years that I’ve read this forum is that I am a horny weirdo and also that if you are not having sex it is because you just don’t like having sex that much.  Maybe you never really loved doing it to begin with.  Maybe your husband is so crappy he turns you off.  It’s supposed to be highly pleasurable and worth the effort.  It’s probably a combination of hormones and your mentality.  For me I use sex for coping with stress and relaxation.  Orgasms often resolve a headache.  But I see all of these external factors pointed out and I realize- I have all these issues and I still want sex.  It’s not the headaches.  It’s that you don’t want sex.[/quote]

Eh. Sort of dumb post. 
Many women experience decreased libido in menopause and peri. Hormones.  It’s not mentality. [/quote]

PP you are responding to and I have been going through perimenopause for a few years and I do think it is both hormones and mentality/environment, let's say.  Sometimes I do not physically want sex as much as I used to but I initiate with my husband anyway or I respond to his advances because I know it will ultimately feel good.  This is probably related to how much I want sex in other times of my cycle.  I also don't think I would respond well if my husband were like the man who wants sex every time his wife shows affection.  That guy would turn anybody off.  But my husband also doesn't act desperate for sex because he's getting lots of sex.  So who knows?  I think it all matters but ultimately you can't really make yourself want to have sex.[/quote]

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