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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My H just called my DD a brat, not in front of her, she was kind of being bratty but that isn’t okay. Its triggering to me and I expect better because my dad beat me a lot as a kid & teen, till I left for college, so any kind of harsh language isn’t ok.[/quote]
You're too sensitive because of your past.

Calling your kid a brat behind her back to you, his wife, is not a big deal, especially if she is being bratty.  Your DH shouldn't have to walk on eggshells because of your traumatic past.

Get some therapy.  And I'm team OP.
[/quote]

+1 Agree

I understand, though — experiencing trauma can affect rational thinking. My dad was also very physical, and I remember the last time he hit me, in the late 90s. I was 19 years old, responsible, a young adult, and engaged, home from college over Thanksgiving break my sophomore year. I came in late, unlocked the door, and woke him up — he had been asleep on the couch and was drunk. He came storming as I was walking up the stairs, grabbed me by my hair, dragged me down the stairs, and started beating me with his hands. Then he took off his belt and hit me with it. It went on for about ten minutes. I ended up with a sprained wrist, a black eye, a busted lip, and could barely walk or sit for about a week afterward due to the welts and bruises.
Even though this wasn’t something my siblings and I experienced often — maybe a few times a year — it wasn’t good for us, so I can’t imagine the effects of it happening more frequently. That said, PP, DH calling DD a brat behind her back is really nothing. All I can say is yes to seeking professional help — it can make a world of difference and help your kids become well-adjusted adults. Mine are 16–25, happy and full of life, and had/have amazing childhoods, thanks to our emotionally healthy parenting.
Best wishes.[/quote]

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