Reply to Can a narcissist ever stay married and be a good enough spouse?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Another one here - really thought I was keeping him regulated and was afraid to leave bc I didn’t want him to have any custody alone based on his inability to handle any level of frustration (and would take it out on the kids). Married 16 years. But then he started to push his behavior with me (throwing things etc) and I set some boundaries and he completely destabilized over the course of the year. The less I reacted (and didn’t feed his supply) the more unstable he got - kept threatening divorce but would back off and then finally he did it - and I didn’t argue and that was that - the separation has been hellacious - I pray for a light at the end of the tunnel. He was never vindictive in the marriage (angry yes) but wow he’s following the divorcing a narcissist play book to a T. He isn't fighting about custody but anything else is fair game. [/quote]

Careful! Mine got a bug in his ear from his mom or a friend and then went bonkers for custody. And then he found the private custody evaluation process to be incredibly validating (I’m in a pro-dad county) so he’s getting all sorts of positive feedback for being the “dad who fights for his kids.” Meanwhile the kids are missing extracurriculars once a week for therapy and frequently missing school because of the anxiety from being around him and his inappropriate and even angry/volatile behavior without me as their human shield or his emotional punching bag. And he still isn’t showing up regularly for them, but somehow that doesn’t count against him.

For us the light at the end of the tunnel won’t be until the youngest is 18.

I wish that I could have held things together to protect them longer. [/quote]

Yeah, mine ran into a former roommate of his who had just gotten divorced and came away thinking how easy it would be to divorce, raise two girls, date & remarry, prove to everyone what a great man he is. Only instead of filing he ramped up the crazy in the household. His lexapro never helped. [/quote]

Mine was inspired by my friend’s DH’s surprise abandonment of his family. His takeaway wasn’t shock and horror at the destruction of a family but instead a sort of “[b]hmm, I can do that?”[/b]. From discovery I found out that he went to an attorney the day after I told him about my friend.

Mine’s lexapro did help until he decided that medication isn’t real and he stopped taking it. He the. claimed that his doctor had said it was to be taken as needed but in reality he mixed the instructions up with those for the Xanax that he also doesn’t take.[/quote]

That’s so autistic. B&W.  Ultra self-centered.

I bet he dropped y’all like a hot potato. [/quote]

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