Reply to Spouse told me I’m the reason they’re depressed

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Reply to "Spouse told me I’m the reason they’re depressed"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The fact that you’re here ruminating and concerned, and he’s off happy as a lark after his diatribe insult is telling. That’s not normal.

He’s abusive and accusing you of what he is doing. He is making others walk on eggshells and try to not let him explode or temper tantrum like a child.
Yikes. [/quote]

It's not healthy, but it's actually really common.

People often project their unprocessed feelings, repressed/ unaddressed traumas, and overwhelming emotions onto others to avoid having to be responsible for managing those things. 
It's not "I feel..." it's "You make me feel...". It's not "I'm overwhelmed/ overstimulated" it's "You're too much/ too loud/ too _____".

Once the unaddressed internal emotional conflict/ overwhelm has been put on something/ someone external, it's "over there" which feels much lighter to the person who doesn't want to or doesn't have the skill to address the concern directly. Now it's YOUR responsibility to fix MY feelings, not mine, and that's MUCH easier for me (for now)![/quote]

How immature and underdeveloped.

Terrible that kids are seeing this type of role model in their very own parent. Toxic. [/quote]

Listen, my dude: nobody on the planet gets perfect parents. Jesus Himself didn't get perfect parents. Everybody has their flaws, and while you tried to sneak "mentally disordered" into my post, no, it's all people. Your need to lash out and call a stranger names and "toxic" is probably projecting your own unhealed mess onto this situation. Nobody was given magical maturity at birth. We're all people, and we're all subject to these patterns until/unless we acquire the tools and skills to become better aware of them and choose differently. That's not "mentally disordered", just human.[/quote]

Ah yes, the “it’s all a spectrum” Guy pops out. Anger, shortcomings, messiness, communication.

Super, it’s all a spectrum and OP’s in an unhealthy one. Plan your exit OP, protect the kids as you can but they’ll be pawns for a long time if there’s a narc involved. [/quote]

This thread isn't about whatever personal baggage you're trying to dump on it. Seek help.[/quote]

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